THE_BIOGRAPHY_OF_NIKKI

THE BIOGRAPHY OF NIKKI T. CAT

MY LIFE WITH DONN 1986 - 2000

I found my human Donn...

I am really "laid back" and don't much care for "stupid humans" No one can match my intelligence. Besides no one can match my beauty.

The most unusual thing I do...

When Donn comes home from work I like to run up and down the hallway from one end to the other. Donn tells me "no running in the house" but I just ignore him and pretend like I didn't even hear him. Then I like to get on the kitchen counter and nibble on my grass he keeps on the windowsill just for me. Then I look right at him and go MEOW as loud as I can to scold him for being gone. I don't go outside anymore cuz it's real scary out there. I like to go all through the house and open all the cupboard doors and look for cat burglars. It drives him crazy but he just doesn't realize I'm only doing my job. Besides I like to watch him go through the house closing all the doors.

I'm unique because...

I'm just so beautiful and soooo soft. I know I'm special because everyone that strokes me says so (a million humans can't be wrong).

What makes me purr...

Donn strokes me with a thing he calls a "Brush" it feels soooo good I just can't help but purr. Donn learned a new trick I taught him too. When I hear his hair dryer shut off I jump on the place he's standing where the water comes out and while he still has that brush thing in his hand I talk to him and tell him it's my turn and he strokes my face and back with it. Then he says "see what you did? You got MY brush all hairy."

My favorite place to sleep...

I have my own bed in the front window on this thing Donn said SANTA CLAUSE brought me last year. It has this really neat cover on it that looks like fleece. I had Donn put my special pillow on it too and now it's extra special comfy. Sometimes Donn puts a little catnip on it too. (I think he just likes to watch me act silly and fall off, though I always land on my feet).

To get Donn's attention, I would sometimes...

When Donn works at his computer I like to try to hit the "delete" key. He shakes his finger at me and I look at it and say "sorry" then he picks me up and hugs me, I love my hugs you know.

Donn doesn't know I...

Sometimes when Donn is gone I get into the catnip box and apply it liberally all over my body, (it drives me crazy and gives me a hangover but I just can't help myself. I think I might be addicted to it). One time I got threatened with going back to jail for vandalizing houseplants while I was high so I don't do that anymore.

Donn pampers me by...

Sometimes Donn gives me these little good treats that look like fish or little hearts. They taste so good I know they are fattening but I eat them anyway. I don't want to hurt Donn's feelings you know.

When Donn gets bored he likes to play with this stupid piece of string he drags around the house. I chase after it to make him feel better. He says it's my favorite "toy" but I know it's really his. Besides I'm too old to play with such stupid stuff.

Donn doesn't understand...

When Donn talks to that thing with the plastic cord on it I get on his chest to hear what he's saying. I like to kneed his belly with my claws so he will talk to me. He says "stop that" and then he tells the thing with the plastic cord "no, not you".

My favorite place to hide...

Whenever someone that doesn't like cats comes over I like to get under the bed way up by the headboard so they can't "get me". I just don't understand why all humans don't love me.

My personal quote...

"Being placed on a pedestal is a right not a privilege" I always say.

My human mommy Alice got real sick and her sister took me to jail (I guess she thought I made my human mommy Alice sick). I was real, real scared and knew my
human’s sister didn't like me that much so I figured I had a life sentence. Luckily though a friend of my human mommy Alice called my human mommy Alice's son Donn and he bailed me out of that nasty jail and I moved to Glendale AZ. from Cottonwood AZ. At first I think he didn't like me too much cuz I used to do things he didn't like jumping on the counter etc. but now I know he loves me a whole bunch cuz he always talks to me. He told me my human mommy Alice "passed away" and I never saw her again. She was so nice too, I knew her since my kitten-hood. I get to sleep with him on my special place by his pillow. I even snuggle under the covers by him when he gets cold. He tells me where he goes when he leaves and always says "hi sweetie" when he gets home. He sits on the bed and pays me the attention I deserve cuz I was alone so long. I know he goes to work just so he can buy me my Purina Mature I love so much. I've got him trained real well but he doesn't know it.